I grew up with roast beef as the centerpiece of our winter holidays. Sorry, roast beast, for I was a huge fan of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I can still picture my dad pulling the roast from the oven, the aroma drifting through the house, summoning everyone to the table before a single word was spoken. The meat was usually cooked to perfection—juicy, tender, and nearly falling apart. Those meals are etched into my memory.
Years later, I gave up red meat for health reasons. No matter what I tried, my cholesterol wouldn’t budge until I stopped eating it altogether. Since then, I’ve searched for substitutes that could bring back the flavors and feelings of those holiday meals. Some store-bought options taste good, but they’re often more expensive than beef itself. Worse, the ingredient lists read like a chemistry experiment: processed vegetable proteins, gums, artificial flavors, hydrogenated seed oils, excess sugar and salt, and preservatives like monoglycerides and diglycerides, which are cholesterol. At times, it almost seemed healthier to just eat beef.
I tried dozens of homemade alternatives—mushroom-based, tofu-based, gluten-based, lentil-based, or garbanzo bean-based. Let’s just say some of those lentil experiments still haunt me. Eventually, I gave up on following other people’s recipes and decided to create my own.
The biggest challenge was texture. Flavor can be coaxed close to beef, but texture is stubborn. Unless you’re turning jackfruit into a beef-flavored stand-in, it’s nearly impossible to replicate. Still, I refused to settle for blandness. Too many recipes shy away from bold seasoning, but I’ve never cooked bland meat, and I wasn’t about to start with vegetarian beef. My version is layered with spices.
Vegetarian Beef
2 tbsp of olive oil
2 cups of mushrooms (Crimini are my favorite, but most mushrooms work), chopped
1/2 onion, chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/4 tsp pink salt and black pepper
2 tbsp red wine
1/4 cup Bragg's amino acids
1 cup beef-flavored broth
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp rosemary
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp smoked Spanish paprika
1 tsp beetroot powder
2/3 cup milk pulp or cooked beans (smashed)
3/4 cup chickpea flour
1 1/2 cup vital wheat gluten flour
In a skillet over medium heat, add your oil, mushrooms, onions, salt, and pepper, and cook them for 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add the wine and cook for another minute. Take the mushroom mixture and add it to a blender. Add the amino acids, beef broth, yeast, spices, and the beet powder, and blend till smooth. Dump this mixture into a large bowl, add the milk pulp and chickpea flour. Wait for the gluten flour until everything is combined. The gluten flour seems to combine ingredients, and it's nearly impossible to add anything after it's been added. Lastly, add the gluten flour. Divide your dough into two. Shape them into two logs. Wrap the logs in parchment paper, then in aluminum foil. Put a steamer basket in your Ninja foodie or other types of Instant Pot. Add water just till it barely starts coming through the holes in your steamer basket. For me, it's about 4 cups. Add the two logs and cook for 35 minutes on the pressure cooker setting. Let cool on your counter and refrigerate overnight. Or the extra log can be frozen. Thaw them when you are ready to use. Next, slice them to your desired thickness. Prep the brine, which will soften them and add more flavor.
Beef Brine
4 cups of beef-flavored broth
1/4 cup Bragg's Liquid Aminos
1 bay leaf
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tbsp nutritional yeast
Combine all the ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a boil and add the slices to the broth. Turn to low, cover, and cook for 20 minutes. Let this brine cool. Store the slices in the brine in the fridge for at least 4 hours. The longer they sit, the softer they will become. When you are ready to serve them, I like to sprinkle some salt, pepper, and a little bit of garlic powder, and lightly fry them.
Save the broth and use it to flavor rice or make a gravy for mashed potatoes, as shown in the picture above. For my gravy, I usually only add butter, unbleached flour, and ground black pepper. The secret to delicious gravy is browning the flour.
Holiday Recipe Ideas:
Something must be said for childhood favourites where, as adults, we take a bite and are instantly transported back to lunch in Nana's kitchen or a family Christmas dinner. We find fondness in home-cooked, comfort food, where the 'comfort' is mostly reminiscence.
― Alison Ranwell
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